Be your voice

Not every aspect of my blogs
has to be taken seriously. 

This may be the most fundamentally vital blog I will ever write. If there’s one thing I want you to take away from this series, it’s the following message: don’t chew gum stuck to the bottom of your desk, it’s not free candy. Only joking, what I want you to practice doing is not letting other’s opinions shape you. You determine your own self-worth. I’m well aware that I am not the first to reiterate this, nor will I be the last, but that just makes it a testament of how important it is for each of us to implement this into our lifestyle. I know what you’re going to say; easier said than done. Yet some people are naturals at not giving a damn of other’s judgement. I’m lucky to have a group of friends with this talent, and through them I've garnered a certain confidence that was once lacking.

Achieving the state of induced ignorance doesn't happen overnight. It starts by finding people who like you for who you are. The ability to show your true colors to complete strangers, and making yourself vulnerable to their judgement, is already a test of testosterone. The payoff is finding someone who doesn't let you make a fool of yourself, alone. This may take some fine tuning, b

ut anything of value does too.

Next, you must realize that you are not your friends, regardless of how similar you are. Liking each other’s companionship doesn't mean you’re not allowed to disagree and argue. If you really want to complement each other, you have to have your own opinions that are independent or even polar opposites of your buddy’s. Just like a married couple, arguing actually makes the relationship healthier (as long as everyone agrees on the subjects that matter most).  

Be your greatest champion.

OK, so you know what your fundamental beliefs are, you possess your own opinions on various topics, and you are who you are; you have friends who like the person you’re becoming. But you’re hide isn't, yet, impenetrable. A small jibe, a quick and vicious comment may not deter you, but something big can still shake your foundations. Everyone has felt, at least once, that the whole world is against them (human beings tend to be drama queens). At the worst of times, you question yourself, and downgrade your own self-esteem. The truth is that this only happens when we listen to our own brain noise. “The root of suffering is following and listening to that brain noise, and actually identifying with it as though that’s who you are.” ¹ When it comes down to it, what others think of us matters much less than what we think of ourselves; therefore, we are our own worst critic and enemy. “But that’s just the noise your brain makes, and more often than naught, it probably doesn't have much to say that’s going to help you… The times that I felt my best, are the moments that I've been able to pull that plug … and rise above [the thought].” ¹ If we allow our beliefs to echo the voices that aren't our own, we become slaves to that which we now are, not what we were meant to be.

Finally, never mistake constructive criticism for personal judgement. The former is something we should acknowledge and build upon (even if it’s hard to hear that we aren't perfect); the latter is that brain noise we must strive to outshout. In either scenario, defend yourself, not your brain noise.  

References: 

1  An interview with Chris Evans here.

Skip to 1:25 for instant inspiration.